#showyourheart 

#showyourheart 
What is yours?

So I was tagged by TheGalleryOfEve to mke the first four of everything. This challenge was orginally by Mrs-Durden 

Watch> Deviations
 by Ellysiumn 
<da:thumb id="778341651"/> by Elizasketchflux 
<da:thumb id="778292121"/> by niivu 
<da:thumb id="776308920"/> by ARTificialphanTOM 

Deviations > Journals

Pimps and Whoas - Dec. 28, 2018
News from the Team
 Happy Holidays from DeviantArt!
Official Contests
All "official" contests will begin at midnight PST on the start date and end at 11:59 PST on the end date. This applies to all Community Relation run contests and all DeviantArt sponsored contests.
denotes US only contest
Anthro Challenge 162 - Giving - Deadline Dec. 31, 2018
Project Educate
Project Educate is a joint venture between Community Relations (communityrelations) and the DeviantArt community. Every week, the project brings you a new set of articles with information, tips, and tricks about one of the many galleries within DeviantArt. Every month, we also have a Community Week built into the s
By moonbeam13 

Mature Content

By morbidman187 
The First Four
I was tagged by Mrs-Durden in her latest awesome idea!!!
The idea consists of going through our inbox, and showing everybody the 4 things we first see in each section!!! (like her, I've avoided comments and replies, to keep things interesting!!! ). So here we go!!!

Watch > Deviations

        
Watch > Groups
Holiday Divider by Syumi Reindeer Divider by cakelegs Holiday Divider by Syumi
Cherry Blossom Rainbow by JessicaTHamilton   The royal fairy of nature (Version D) by YumeiroStudio   Heavy Coat by Verismaya   Chesh and Totoro by TrollGirl 

By TheGalleryOfEve 
The First Four 
I decided it'd be fun to put together a feature of the first four things I see in my message centre The way it'll work is I'll go through several sections of my message centre and link the first four things I see in each one! It's a pretty simple concept I'll of course be focusing on artwork and artwork related content rather than linking to comments and replies as that wouldn't be interesting and I'll also be avoiding repeats. Here we go!
Watch > Deviations
   
Watch > Groups
   
Watch > Journals
  Holiday Bokeh Contest Winners! by StunningPhotography    
Watch
By Mrs-Durden 

Forums
Winter art by Morbidman187
Deviantart Hotel by phoenixleo
failure smailure by nicolettethestrange
a question for olq-plo's fellow bi-people by stockpremader

Status Updates
www.deviantart.com/chaseawayth…
www.deviantart.com/jenfruzz/st…
www.deviantart.com/morbidman18…

The last four llama given by
DamaiMikaz 
Dimen-Zion
Maleiva
Emma-Warren

And the people I taf for this challenge
Tattorack Dynoboot BabanIllustration And VernonDraws 
btw I made 4 up on place, the orginal two did tag more

#thefirstfour 

Howver it is a time for Hiatus. Why? Because my life has been a chaos the last year, unwanted suprises, great sorrows(I lost my grandmother, one of my friends' depression s so bad, that she can't see anybody right now), and a move. I survived everything, just barely. I am Chaotic of nature, I don't like having constant change around me of the unpredictable kind, but I have learned to deal with it.
But because my Personal life constantly being a mess, I end up losing myself. There was days I couldn't regonise myself and I walked aound like a zombie.
And I dealed with everything the worst way possible way, proscanting, but hat only works so long you can see an end of everything, I lost that ability.
I as so stressed that I couldn't even handle te past, the present or even the future. Just 5 minutes seems like an eternity. 
There were days like those, that make me wanted to give up everything, but I couldn't. Not with all that have costed me to get here.
To get my final exams, to get an Apartment, to start on my own, to get into my dream study.

But I am only one now to blow everything up, because I lack the focus. I almost did, and I have to take the consenquences of my actions.
When Mikomics told me how many times I noted or mentioned him the past month a few days ago, an awful lot of times. I was suprised, because I coudn't remember it, secondly I was completely ashamed of myself. He deserves so much better. I shouldn't lay myself completely over on him, it was against everything I learned.

It didn't change anything, because my decession was already taken, but I wasn't sure when I would do it.
To finish the few weeks I have of my studie, to see after that left of me and piece my life together, to find myself once again, with others arond me, don't push people that cares about me away, to decide who I want to be. In order to be a person worth fighting for, because the alternative isn't to live with.